Do their best to Change You
by Aloysha aka Solis
Summary: Piper is a little…disturbed at Chris’ preoccupation with a four-year-old Wyatt and decides to ask him about it. Chris gives her a little insight. (After Tortured Future of Maybe)


Torture Future of Maybe

Part Two: Do Their Best to Change You

Author: Solis

Series: Yes. Part one Tortured Future of Maybe, on ff.net and aff.net 

Pairings: Future Wyatt/Chris 

Warnings: Slash and angst. My god is there a lot of angst. 

Summery: Piper is a little…disturbed at Chris' preoccupation with a four-year-old Wyatt and decides to ask him about it. Chris gives her a little insight. 

Do Their Best to Change You

They still can't erase you

From what I've seen

You're just one more hand me down

Cause no one's tried to give you what you need

Lay all your troubles down

I am with you now

Lay them down on me

Hand Me Down-Matchbox Twenty 

Chris sighed at the giggling child sitting in front of him. Pale blue eyes, filled with laughter and…innocence, stared back at him, and he sighed again. 

Innocence. 

He didn't think his Wyatt had ever been an innocent. No, his Wyatt was a fighter, and a brutal one at that, and his Wyatt was only happy late at night, when they were so close they could almost be one person. And they had tried so hard to be just…one person, Chris wanted so badly for Wyatt to just be inside of him…

The result had been sex, and a lot of it, and hard, rough, mind numbing sex that could leave him aching for days, but always willing for more when they had a chance. But it hadn't just been about the act or the pleasure or any of that, it had been, simply, as close to each other as they could ever get, inside each other all around, feeling is heartbeat and tasting his sweat.

This time he groaned and slumped over onto the floor. Wonderful, he was getting hard thinking about Wyatt in front of the toddler version of his lover. He was sure that made him a bad and horrible person, or at least some kind of a pedophile

A small fist batting at his arm made him look up. Wyatt looked upset he'd suddenly decided to end the game, so Chris pushed himself back to sitting position and scooped the child up. 

"Sorry Wyatt, got a little preoccupied there. Alright." Chris held up a hand and a ball of white crackling energy formed. He tossed it up and smiled when a blue shield formed around it. The energy exploded and the shield rippled some with the impact but held. "Nice. You wanna try something bigger?" 

"Bigger!" Wyatt said, bouncing a little and Chris had to smile. 

At least he had that in common with his Wyatt. They both had to push everything to the limit and weren't satisfied until they thought they could handle anything and beat the entire world. Fight now, for this child, the entire world were the little spheres of energy Chris had him contain. For his Wyatt the world had been the Titans. 

The world had been his undoing. 

And he understood that was Wyatt's destiny, to fight evil and keep the balance between light and dark, and to protect and serve and…he hated it all and wished he and Wyatt could have just hidden somewhere for the rest of their lives. 

But when Destiny called Wyatt went the way of his mother and aunts and father and many other witches and wizards before him. He answered and he died. 

"Chris." 

A soft voice, motherly and concerned. He wondered if his mother ever sounded like that. He blinked and realized his eyes were blurry with unshed tears. Fuck, this wasn't supposed to hurt anymore. It'd been years since that last battle, where Wyatt, Chris, and two other wizards their age, had taken out the female titan. The other two had died in that fight but Wyatt hadn't. 

Because Wyatt was special. 

Chris had helped Wyatt take out the first male titan, though he really shouldn't have been able to get involved. It was a hard fought battle and both had been tired and both had known they would fight the last, and strongest, Titan and live. 

But Wyatt couldn't back down. They had both died, in a manner of speaking anyway, but Chris was here, as a white lighter, and Wyatt was still dead. It was so fucking unfair. 

"Wyatt, honey, go play with Aunt Paige." 

He let his grip on the child loosen in a sign that Wyatt could leave if he wanted. The child just moved closer to him. 

"Don wanna." 

"Wyatt, go, now." Her voice was stern but he doubted a stern voice would affect this child anymore that it would have his Wyatt. You had to show Wyatt to get anything out of him. 

"Go 'head Wyatt, we'll play more in a little bit." His voice was thick and weak to his ears, broken and hoarse, like he'd been screaming and crying again. 

After Wyatt had done that was all he could do, scream and cry and rage and wish he had died, for real, by his side. 

The child pouted but walked off. Chris leaned against the couch and pulled his legs up to his chest, feeling oddly exposed with his miniature self-imposed guardian. Piper sat in the chair across from him, long brown hair shimmering in the sunlight, like some form of a halo. 

"Are you alright Chris?" 

He blinked back tears and snorted. "I haven't been alright in a very long time Piper." And he wouldn't be alright for an even longer time. Not until he could have his Wyatt, be in his arms, and be with him again. Nothing would right until them. 

"Chris-" 

"You don't have to worry about me. I've survived worse then what I'm going through now." Watching Wyatt die had been worse then living without him. Not too much worse, but watching Wyatt slowly dying and knowing he could do nothing to save him because he was on the ground, dying as well, was a haunting thing engraved forever in his mind. 

"Chris, you can tell me what's wrong you know." 

'I miss sex with your son. I miss kissing him and having him inside of me and screaming his name and I miss the way he looked at me, that let me know even though he wasn't saying it, he loved me more that anyone he'd ever known before.' 

But he couldn't say that. "I miss my future." 

Her brow furrowed. "But I thought it was horrible." 

He smiled. "It was. But I had…something." 

A knowing smile. "Someone you loved." 

He blinked and allowed a wry smile. "We never said it, but yes, I had someone I loved more than anything and would have gladly died for over and over again, if I thought it would change things." She smiled again and he knew she understood and for the first time in all of those years felt a pang of guilt for the things he had done. 

But it was fleeting at best. For Wyatt, he did everything for Wyatt. 

"Will you try and find her?" He blinked. "If this is the past then she should still be here, somewhere right?" He nearly laughed.   


"I suppose. It wouldn't be the same though, not…quite the same person I knew. Not as hard or jaded, won't have been at my side for fights to the death and…such. I want to have what I had, all of it, but I can't." 

He glanced over his shoulder, into the kitchen, when Paige was helping Wyatt put cookie dough onto a cookie sheet. He wanted it so bad, but maybe he wasn't meant to have it. Maybe binding his soul to Wyatt, pledging to follow him to hell and back if needed…maybe it all meant less then the wedding vows people took. 

"You spend so much time with him." Piper said, following his gaze. "No offense, but it's a little creepy." 

He snorted. "I guess it would be. I knew your son, sixteen years from now and…part of me wishes your Wyatt could be my Wyatt. I miss him." 

"You were friends?" 

"Best friends." He smiled wistfully. "We met when I was fifteen and he was thirteen. He had all of this power, but wasn't sure how to use it, and had somehow ended up trapped in a demon arena to be used as food. They couldn't touch him because of his field but he also couldn't get out because he couldn't calm down enough to shut it down. It would have been funny if not for the skin thinner demons trying to…well, skin me alive." 

She winced a little but Chris didn't really notice. He could remember it all, the smell of rotting flesh and filth, the crowds of demons outside cheering as humans and lower level demons fought to the death in the arena above his head, and that small boy, huddled in a corner with only a blue force field protecting him. He remembered the white hot pain as the Thinner demons tried to peel back his skin without killing him. 

Made the flesh taste better the more alive before consumption he was. 

"And then he pushed all of his power outwards and any demon it touched turned to ash. Not that I knew that, because I was scared out my mind and thinking this skinny little kid was about to kill me too. But he didn't and instead he got me out." Chris sighed. That was the way it always was, younger and smaller but always in total charge just…because that was who he was. "And for years we traveled the world, freeing humans, taking out demons, destroying the Titans' temples. And we never said it but we were working up to fighting the Titans, that final fight. Not that it was really my fight. I wasn't a powerful guy, my bloodline was tainted with that of demon and normal mortal blood." 

"You were a witch?" 

"Wizard." He corrected, grinning. "And yes I was. Last of my line. I could do a few tricks, illusions were my power, but I can also channel energy, like into those balls Wyatt contains. Nothing special, I was more of a diversion than anything. Wyatt was the one with the big destiny, saving the world." 

She tilted her head off to the side. "What was your destiny?" 

"To be at Wyatt's side." The answer slipped out easily and he blinked. He hadn't meant to say that actually, made more questions, so he hurried to cover it up. "I taught him to channel his power more usefully than just protecting himself into a corner, and how to get his emotions under control. I was supposed to help him gather the energy and skill to defeat the Titans and I failed. Miserably. We died and then I was a white lighter. Some shit about sacrificing my life and always being with Wyatt, even though I had less than half the power and would surly die." 

They didn't understand he didn't do it for any reason other then he loved Wyatt enough to die for him. He didn't want wings or praise of life…he just wanted to be able to rest in peace with Wyatt and leave all of the fighting to someone else. 

"I miss him." He muttered after a moment. A lot, every time he breathed he missed him, and when he opened his eyes in the morning he missed him and when he closed him at night he missed him. "Tell Wyatt I'll be around later." 

With that he focused on the apartment he was renting. He could have stayed at the manor, they'd offered to fix up the basement for him, but he was only a few blocks away and if there was ever trouble he could be there in a matter of moments. 

He fell into his bed and closed his eyes. He reached into his shirt after a few moments and pulled out the chain there, then fingers the three rings that rested there. One he knew was Piper's wedding ring and he'd never fully realized how important it was to Wyatt until he'd come to the past. It was all he had left of his family and…he'd given it to Chris anyway. 

The next one was his own ring. He let his finger run over the inscription, knowing it by heart already, and knowing it matched the other one. 

'For the rest of forever~ Wyatt '

'For however long forever is~ Chris' 

He wondered if it ever stopped hurting. 


End file.
